If you are here, there's about a 50% chance that you are a survivor of a major trauma and between a 20% and 30% chance that you survived at least one sexual trauma in your lifetime. If so, we are kindred spirits, heart warriors, and powerful individuals whose bodies contain secrets and truths that have hurt us, empowered us, shaped us, and tried to break us. I'm so glad you are here. We cannot do this alone.
When I was six years old, I experienced my first episode of sexual abuse (what we call an "anchor trauma.") The chaos, addiction, and neglect of my home had already taught me to please others with my silent obedience, and so of course, that was my go-to method for coping. However, one aspect of my life was at war with the silence--my love of stories. I began writing poetry at age eight, and those poems were filled with the truth of the savagery I endured. The truth was wrapped in alliteration, near rhymes, iambic pentameter, birds, the ocean, and flowers. It was my code, and it was my saving grace. Even at eight, I knew that the truth mattered, and that silence was a dark place where shame grows, although I couldn't articulate it. Today I can.
In this blog, in my practice, and in my trauma certification courses, I will be transparent. Not everyone is ready for that level of exposure. I still love you. You are still a warrior and a valuable soldier in the war against sexual violence, child abuse and neglect, narcissistic abuse, pandemic trauma, racial trauma, and every other type of trauma we endure as a species. If you are not ready to tell your story, realize that I aim to tell the story of all survivors to the best of my ability. It is my joy and my honor.
You are safe here. The truth lives here. Love lives here. Join me in healing, no matter at what stage you are in your recovery. Whether you are a seasoned veteran or a scared newbie--we are all works in progress. Let's grow together.
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